When it comes to romantic relationships and sorts, we all want to be and feel special to our partners. It’s a thing of joy to want to be their exclusive focus of attention and even their worst distraction per say.
Honey, it’s completely very natural to want to be on the top of your partner’s priority list. But sometimes, there are certain inevitable circumstances when you and your relationship with your partner might just have to take a backseat but hey, you still deserve every ounce of their time, attention and love.
Certainly, there will be moments when health, work, family or even other insignificant stuff might be of temporary importance to your partner and that’s totally fine… But if you constantly feel like you are the second option or even the last, the truth is just something else. Funnily enough, being so in love could lead you to often defending your intuition by rationalizing your partner’s behavior.
Whatever the case may be, it’s necessary to know if your partner needs some space to deal with something bothering him or her at that particular moment or period of time… Or if they just don’t care enough about you… Or even worse off, they don’t actually give a hoot about you.
So Here Are Some Warning Signs You Should Watch Out For.
1. You are the Sole Organizer of the Relationship.
Yes I said that. It’s just you alone planning things out and executing them. You two might agree on something but at the end of the day, it’s just you who follow through with it, while they come up with flimsy excuses not to have heeded to the plan.
2. You do the Compromise Alone.
Relationships involve two people who are willing to make it work. So is the case when it comes to compromises, efforts and sacrifices. They ought not to be one-sided you know. If you are always the one making efforts and compromising everything in the relationship – be it your time, your needs, decisions, attention, etc, while they just sit back, fold their arms and watch you do everything all by yourself; then be rest assured that you aren’t their priority. People handle their priorities with utmost care.
3. Your Efforts Go Unnoticed.
The care, efforts, sacrifices, kind gestures, compromises all go unnoticed. They’re completely clueless about the things you do for the relationship on a regular basis. Assuredly, when someone doesn’t value and respect you, they will never respect your actions nor appreciate your efforts.
4. Lack of Adequate Attention.
They don’t give you the attention you deserve, they don’t spend quality time with you and worse still, they keep feeding you with reasons for not “being able to be together”. Such a crap!
Listen Honey.. If someone really wants a relationship with you to work out, his or her efforts will be visible and so glaring! They would not consider trivial hurdles to be a magnanimous obstacle between you two. They would surely find the time just for you alone cuz they know you’re worth it. Got that?
5. Lack of Patience on their Part.
You always have to be the one to be patient with them, waiting on them every now and then. They could even feel it’s their right without showing due appreciation. But that’s not even the main issue here, the issue is that they will never wait on you. If they have to, they will try to hurry you up and even start to display frustration when you aren’t forthcoming as quick as they want you to.
6. They Only Contact You At Their Free Time.
There’s a wall of difference between “making out time to contact someone” AND “contacting someone only at a free moment”. When they spend more time with ‘close people’ (family and friends) or just other people and only contact you “as soon as they are free”, that’s a warning signal.
You just aren’t that important to them which is why they treat you as per their whims. Sweetheart, once you notice this, please take a walk. You weren’t born to be at anyone’s beck and call most especially when you’re just an option to them.
7. You Aren’t Included In Their Plans.
You have little or no idea about what’s going on in their lives cuz they keep them away from you. You don’t know how their day went, you don’t know what their schedule for the week is like, you are clueless about what their future plans and next moves are. Infact, you aren’t even in their calendar. Not just that, they debunk all of your complaints regarding feeling missed out from their life, then they apologize for the same action and readily return to their old behaviours.
8. Limited Access to Them.
Your partner might be stuck in a complicated situation but would still prevent you from reaching out or rendering help. And in an age where people are constantly using their phones; messages on Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and Snapchat going unanswered is a huge sign of being ignored.
They are indirectly trying to limit your access to them and their availability towards you. Most times, all your efforts and trials to reach out to them go in vain. That’s because you’re just not their priority. They just don’t care that much about you.
9. They’re Either Constantly Blackmailing You OR Draining You.
You feel like they are taking advantage of your love and care. They either blackmail you emotionally or find ways to drain you — be it physically, financially or otherwise. When someone doesn’t care enough about you, value you or even hold you in a high esteem, they can dehumanize you and treat you like a mere material or even a piece of trash.
10. Too Much of Lies, Deceit and Mind-Games.
They constantly lie to you and hide vital information from you which they present as “seeming insignificant”. But by the time you find out, you’ll often find those things to be quite significant contrary to what they believed or made you believe. Sometimes, you find them acting suspiciously as if they’re trying to hide something from you. They even get jumpy and anxious around you. What exactly are they hiding from you? You need to find out!
11. They Aren’t Excited Seeing You. More of Indifference!
They are not much thrilled and amused when you are around. When you notice that your partner always behave disinterestedly and off around you, then that can be a sign that you aren’t their priority. I mean… Who on Earth doesn’t feel glad and all excited at the mere sight of their lover anyways?
12. They Don’t Respect Your Feelings or Have Regard for You.
They do not respect your decisions or ideas. They miss important dates, might even cancel plans on the last minute for no valid reason. Worse still, they even behave casually after they have hurt you and expect you to sweep things under the carpet and just go with the flow. Not just that, they unapologetically ignore all your advice.
They hardly accept faults, then they get angry when you even attempt to correct them. They start arguments the moment you point a fact. They always find reasons no matter how silly it sounds, just to justify their actions, then they blame you for any and every wrong or mistakes done. They do all these cuz they care less about your feelings, thereby making you just one of their options and not their choice.
13. The Communication Between the Both of You Lack Quality.
Without communication, there’s no relationship. You two hardly communicate and even when you do, the conversation lacks quality and essence. You don’t discuss anything meaningful, you guys don’t talk about your goals and aspirations neither about theirs. You don’t make plans together either. Times when you raise the topic or ask about their plans for the relationship, they always shove it aside.
You know… someone who truly loves you and has your interest at heart, will always want to know your goals in life and help you achieve them. So next time you see them avoiding such relevant topics, it only shows that you aren’t their priority. They could probably even have someone else whom they always open up to, discuss such vital issues with and share literally everything with…. BUT NOT YOU!
14. They Make You Feel Unloved and Unwanted.
Your partner nonchalantly invalidates any requests on your part and rejects them. They have excuses not to help you with this and reasons they can’t do that. You seldom hang out together, go out for parties, dinner dates, outings and the like. Your interaction with them is mostly limited to the four walls of your room and at a point, you might even start questioning your abilities.
Sweetheart, note this: When your partner constantly makes you feel unwanted, unworthy and unlovable, then be 100% sure that YOU ARE JUST NOT THEIR PRIORITY! Oops! Such a sad truth.
CRUCIAL POINT TO NOTE: When you’re in a relationship that does more damage to your mind and body than it mends, soothes and nurtures them, then it’s necessary you retrospect and assess what’s actually going wrong. If you feel your partner is not worth the time and effort, let that relationship go asap!
Yeah yeah, I know it’s easier said than done. But honey, before you’re set to lose your Self-Respect and Identity just because “you love your partner”, let me tell you something: If your partner ends up leaving you broken, you will be the one to gather the pieces, pick yourself up and move on. No one’s gonna do that for you, not even your supposed “partner”. Remember to Love Yourself First; Because You Cannot Pour from an Empty Cup!