Me and My Pregnant Wife

I thought they said pregnant women start nagging at the 5th month or so; but I wonder why my wife’s own started on the very first day she came home with the pregnancy result which shows she’s just two weeks pregnant.

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That day, she refused to cook. I asked her why and she said she can’t cook because she’s pregnant. I found it funny and laughed… “Two weeks pregnant?? And you can’t cook? Hahaha.”

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She started crying saying I was laughing at her condition. I tried to apologise but she over reacted that day. She went as far as calling my mother on phone, telling her that I am not showing concern about her pregnancy. My mom called me and warned me never to neglect her and urged me to spend more time with her until she delivers.

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Ok… That was how I turned into my wife’s house help. Although I can’t cook, but I learnt it by force. I can now cook. I wash, yet she still nags and complains. I turned into a decorator. I decorate the room for her like this now, she loves it, in the next five minutes, she hat£s it and I have to decorate it with another style.

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She can wake me up at midnight to make her tea. Sometimes, the A.C will be on but she would prefer I fanned her with hand fan. Chei! Me John, I don see things! I asked my married friends, “Is this how your wives behave when they get pregnant?” They laughed and never gave me an answer.

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Ok now, she’s on her seventh month and I am doing all I can to make sure she’s happy and never complains.

We spent the day all happy, took a walk, ate together and I spent the entire day cracking jokes for her. She was very happy that she forgot to nag or complain… then she went to bed.

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I got hot water ready just incase she requests for tea at midnight. I have all kinds of fruits and foods stored in the fridge just incase she asks for any.

After that… I laid down beside her.

“Pheew” I exhaled. If I could keep up everyday like this, she wouldn’t be nagging anymore.

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I was very happy because I finally found a way to keep her happy and entertained; and most of all, save myself from her nags. Now everything is perfect… I slept off beside her happily.

At around 2:00 am… she woke me up.

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ME: “Do you want to drink tea?”

SHE : “No.”

ME: “Fruits?”

SHE : “No.”

ME: Oh!…Food. Which one will I bring?

SHE: I’m not hungry. I don’t want any food.

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Wooow! I couldn’t believe my ears. She doesn’t want to eat anything? Then let me continue my peaceful sleep. What a lovely day and a lovely night.

Not long after, she woke me again and asked…

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SHE : “Honey?”

ME: “Yes Darling?”

SHE : “Do you know that petrol station called DVD petrol station at Aduwawa?”

ME : “Yes, what happened to it?”

SHE: “Take me there. I need to sm£ll their fuel.”

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Infact, I didn’t even know whether to cry or laugh.

Kudos to all Pregnant women. It’s not an easy journey.

~John~

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